Thursday, 28 February 2013

Honesty

I so want to be honest about everything
that is going on in my life at the moment
but it would be used against me.

Everything I write on here and other
sites is being used against me.

Crocheting and blogging has kept
me going over the last few years.
Getting sick and becoming very disabled
has been hard.
As a mum knowing your son can't do things because of you
is hard. Never mind anything else.
You have all kept me going. Reminding me that no matter
how sick I am I'm still worth something.

I'm seriously ill.  I didn't realise
how serious till I went and saw the dr today.
I knew the lung infection had spread to both lungs.
What I didn't realise is that I was already on the strongest
antibiotics for the condition.
The dr says if this doesn't work he doesn't know
what will help me.
He told me my asthma isn't under control anymore.
I told him about what is going on in the background at
the moment and he told me to forget it.
He said I need all my bodies strength to fight this illness.
He said this is serious!

Yes I'm very scared!
There are also lots of things going on in the background
that I can't tell you about.
I wish I could. You've been here with me through everything.
Crocheting makes me feel worth while.
It takes my mind off the pain, stress and everything else that
goes along with it.
Sitting in a house that is filthy and I can't do anything about
it could send anyone crazy.
Sitting crocheting relaxes me and makes me feel like I'm still worthwhile.
When I design and you love my designs it makes me feel so special!

I have made so many friends in you.
You mean the world to me!
I hope everything in the background gets sorted.
I hope they realise that if it wasn't for my crocheting and blogging
I may not be alive.
I'm not running a business it's my hobby.
I don't make any profit. I try and give as much as I can
to charity. The only problem with a hobby is it costs money.
I've never been in the black.
Blogging and designing has made me feel worthwhile.
This is being used against me
but believe me I am going to keep on blogging.
I'm going to keep on crocheting and hopefully
I'm going to keep on living.

I'm sorry it's such a depressing post but I'm really scared.
I've always tried to tell you the good, the bad and the ugly.
I hope you'll stay with me through this blip.
You all mean the world to me!
You make everything worth while.

Thank You!

8 comments:

  1. I haven't been reading your blog for very long, but I have been reading it. I don't know your story, your lifestyle, or your background...but I'm praying for you. If I were in your place, I don't think I could do it alone. I don't think I could do it not knowing if someone was thinking about me. I'll definitely keep you in my prayers...both you and your family.
    -Kaleigh

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    Replies
    1. Kaliegh,
      Thank you ever so much! i'm feeling a bit better today. Now I'm able to breathe slightly better things are feeling a lot more positive. It's a wonder what a couple hours of sleep and a bit more oxygen can do. Still not out of the woods but things are on the up.
      Sue

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  2. Prayers and hugs sent your way.

    Don't worry about anything but getting better....and yes, crochet and design as long and as much as you want. It's your gift and you should use it.

    Blessings always

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. I started making a baby cardigan last night. My lungs feel slightly better and I managed a couple of hours sleep so things are looking a lot more positive today :-)

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  3. I've said a prayer for you today..... Hang in there!

    Your blogging friend,
    Nonny

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    Replies
    1. Nonny,
      Thanks! Lungs inflating and got a couple of hours rest so feeling a lot more positive today. got a long way and a lot of resting to go but feeling more like me :-)
      Sue

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  4. Replies
    1. Thank you. Feeling a bit better and a lot more positive today.

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